My Tiger
by Pearl of the Dark Age
Summary: ONE SHOT! Seto is afraid to go home because he knows he will be mauled by his tiger! Implied yaoi.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or Calvin & Hobbes. Warning: implied yaoi.

**A/N:** _Tadaima_ is Japanese for "I'm home!"

**My Tiger**

By _Pearl of the Dark Age_

"Sir," an employee timidly said, "I have to go home now. The meeting is over, and I told my wife I'd be home in time for my daughter's birthday party."

Seto gave him a cold look. "Fine," he said. "You're dismissed." The truth was that the CEO himself was stalling for time. He had completed all his work for the day. The meetings were finished, and to Seto's relief - successful. Mokuba went straight home after school these days, and Isono learned quickly enough to escape while he still could. So, Seto had no one to talk to except his unlucky secretary.

She was packing her purse and checking her lipstick. _Uh-oh_, she thought as she saw her boss approach. _What can he want now? I have a date in half an hour!_ She cleared her throat. "Is there anything I can help you with, Kaiba-sama, before I leave?" she politely asked.

He sauntered over to her desk, trying to look important. Picking up a snow globe, he asked, "Where did you get this?"

"Bermuda," she politely answered through gritted teeth. _It says it right on it!_

He made no reply as he put it back down. "I have something I want you to edit," he said, handing her the minutes of the meeting he had just finished.

She took it and placed it in a "to-do" drawer. "Anything else?" she asked. She was not going to edit the minutes; she could get fired for that! She knew he was just up to his same old trick, again.

"Aren't you going to do it?"

"Right now?" she asked, incredulous. "Kaiba-sama, you know I can't alter the minutes. That's against the company rules!" She handed him back the papers. "Forgive me, sir, for being forward - but aren't you just wasting time so you don't have to go home? Why do you never want to go home these days?"

He was taken aback by her abruptness. But then again, if it had been him - he would not have put up with it nearly as long. "You don't understand," he explained. "I have a tiger at home. The second I get through that door, he will maul me!"

"Tiger?" Now she thought he was lying. "Good luck with that. I have to go now. I have a date."

Seto watched her leave, feeling helpless. He was not lying about the tiger. He hated going home for that very reason. The first few times it was funny. Then it got old. Now, it was just scary! His tiger had turned it into a game: Maul Seto Kaiba whenever he comes home! _I guess I have no choice_, he thought. _It's not like I can live without him._

He took his time putting everything away on top of his office desk. Slowly, he put all necessary documents in his briefcase. He defragmented his hard drive. Since he did that yesterday, too, it did not take very long. Taking his time, he turned off his computer, shut the blinds, and even inspected the light bulbs in the ceiling lights.

"Uh… sir," the janitor behind him said, "that's my job." He had come on his rounds to empty waste baskets and the usual.

"Well," Seto said importantly, "I heard buzzing. I think it needs to be checked." He got off the ladder he had found in the janitor's closet and waited patiently for the janitor to look at the light.

"It's fine," the janitor replied without really checking it. He knew the CEO was just stalling for time. They went through this routine every evening. "Why don't you go home, sir, and relax?"

_Relax? _Seto thought. _With that animal around? _"You don't understand," he explained. "Have you ever read that American comic strip _Calvin & Hobbes_?" he asked. The janitor nodded. "I have my own _Hobbes_ at home. The minute I walk through that door, I will be mauled to pieces!"

The janitor smiled. "Good for you, sir."

Seto grabbed his car keys and briefcase and stormed off in frustration. He took the stairs. Sure, it took a long time, but that is what he wanted. He walked slowly through the lobby, out the front doors, and to his car. Resignedly, he got in and drove himself home, taking the surface street instead of the freeway.

He sat in his car in the garage. The car garage was attached to the house, and the door to enter was to his right. He stared at it. The door was closed as always. He got out, opened it up slowly, and peered around the edge. He was hiding behind it. "Tadaima," he called quietly. He strained his ears for the slightest noise… a scrape… a purr.

Dead silence. There was a draft of cool air, but that was it. Seto's nerves rattled. "Tadaima!" he called, louder this time. Nothing. Losing it completely, he ran out the garage and snuck around the house to the back. He tried the kitchen door. It was locked. _Damn! _He tried the next door. It was locked, too! _Double damn! _His key only unlocked the front entrance, the garage entrance, and the entrance to the back foyer. He looked through the window of the kitchen, hoping to catch the eye of his chef. The lights were out. No one was there.

Giving up, he walked hesitantly to the back entrance. Seto noticed that all the curtains had been drawn shut in the windows. He knew that it would be pitch dark inside. The door was locked, but this did not lighten his anxiety. He turned the key as quietly as he could. It clicked loud as a gunshot, causing his frantic heart to skip a beat. He opened the door slowly and peered in. It was too quiet. And then, he heard it - a soft purr.

"Mokuba?" he whispered. "Please, let it be you…" He gulped. He moved slowly into full view of what ever it was waiting in the dark of the foyer. "Tadaima!" he shouted.

And before he could take one step forward, something large and powerful had pounced onto him - causing him to fall flat onto his back and knocking the breath out of his lungs. A tongue thrust itself down his throat, kissing him madly. Fingernails dug into his chest; his shirt had been removed at an astonishing speed. More clothes were torn off as Seto was mauled by his tiger.

Red hair fell around the face of his attacker as he let his prey breathe for a minute. A cheshire-cat smile and silver eyes gleamed at Seto hungrily. "Hello Amelda," Seto said. "I'm not a tuna sandwich, you know. Can't you at least wait until I get _into _the house?"


End file.
